The Mind of the Driving Man

Hmmm… here’s the key... not that it makes a difference, any key would open this car, I should get central locking, with an alarm, but it’s not that cheap, I should look into that at some point though. It’s 6:30, super time for a leisurely drive back home. Fuck. K, let’s have some music then... that’s better... Which way should I go? Left towards Garuda Mall or take a U Turn and go via MG Road? Better decide fast... FUCK!!!! Asshole!!! Fuck it, I don’t give a shit, take the fucking u turn... There we go, great choice friend, right up to your arse in traffic now. Fucking bastard bus drivers. But then they have it quite bad too. Still bastards though. Any cops around? I should message someone and see if there is a plan. Oh, the light's green now, here we go. Shit, it’s red again and I hardly moved. At this rate, it will take me... lets see, maybe an hour or so to go the 4 or 5 kilometers. Anyway, now I can message... BEEEP BEEEP... oh, someone beat me to it, who is it? Oh, there’s a good one “What your doing man?” “Iamn ot”... shit... “I am not doing anything, what your doing man?” Send. Still traffic... is that cop looking at me? I should look away maybe... Green, good, lets get going now... Yaaay!... FUCK!!! What the??? What an asshole man... What a complete bastard... Fucking hell... Fine, move it along now dipshit... Oh... oh indeed, I should have guessed... Good lord... Okay, we’re moving now, the trinity circle signal is green! MOVE! MOVE IT IDIOT!! You can do it... come on baby, you can do it... you’re doing it! You’re doing it!! RED!!! NOOOOO!!!!!!!! Hang on, you can still do it! Yes you can! Try! But there are cops there... fuck it... sigh...

Zoning out now, hope I don’t drop off to sleep... Who the fuck is honking??? What??? WHAT??? Fuck you too... This, is a loooong signal... indeed it is... Okay... here we go again. FRRREEEE!!!! I am FREEEE!!! Super... shit bums, those headlights are bright, can’t see shit... hope there aren’t any bad potho- OW!!! Fucking hell man!! Hmmm... fuck it... but what’s that strange and new sound? Lovely... I think my car is trying to tell me something... something to the effect of “Well you are over 6 or 7 thousand kilometers overdue for a service man! What did you expect???” Yeah, I know, but what the fuck... you know how it is... should I go via airport road or Cambridge layout? You always ask this and you always go via Cambridge Layout, so what’s the point dude? Fine, Cambridge layout it is then. Is it Thursday? No, good for that... hehe... suckers... I wonder why people feel the need to do that? Don’t you? Do you? No? Sure? Fuck it... I wonder how that Ooty chocolate shop is doing... Take a right here. Maybe there should be an “International Driving Persons Day”, is there one already? ASSHOLE!! What assholes man... Screw it, zone out, just zone out... drive, but zone out...

Almost on the home stretch now, I hate busses. And there are far too many autos on the road. But if there were less then they’d screw around more, since demand would exceed supply, but there usually are empty autos around, the problem is they don’t want to go where you want to go, they screw around, but that’s weird, cos if supply is higher than demand, well, they shouldn’t screw around, should be the opposite... strange... here we are now, park nicely, remove the CD player panel, check all the doors are locked, get out, check all the doors are locked… Tea, I need tea :)