Lunch with B, H, D & W

“Hullo, I’m Bob, this is Harry” Bob indicates Harry. B:Good cologne, nice shoes, expensive but weird shirt, what’s with that??? “Shall we order first then? Are we all having lunch?” B:Didn’t take a dump in the morning, I wont be eating much. Bob flags a waiter, “Could you get the menu please?” B:Fast!!! “So did you find the place easily?” says Bob to Dick, B:Is he stupid or not? “Yeah, came straight here, took a while to get parking though, you know how it is” D:Should I? Should I??? “It’s the downside of owning a big car” B:Man! What a wank! Why doesn’t he have a fucking driver then??? Idiot! “Yeah, that can be difficult, heh” B:Real idiot!

“Thank you” says Bob to the waiter, and they all get interested in the menu. W:Thank my ass motherfucker! Look at me again in that way and it wont only be spit in your food! Son of a bitch! Go fuck yourself and your fancy clothes! Woke up at four fucking thirty to get here, and you thank me??? Piece of shit! “Velcom”

Bob, Harry and Dick are looking intently at their respective menus. B:I can’t eat much, and I hate the food here, but let’s see, maybe lobster? Or is that too obvious? Look at his shirt! Fuck that! “I’ll have the lobster, it’s awesome here!” says Bob. W:Excellent choice Mr.Crapface! Maybe spiced up with a little of my secret ingredient? “And I’ll have a London Fish ‘n’ Chips” says Harry, H:Is that too common, childish? But I liiiike it! “I’ll have the lobster too, but go easy on the sauce, and make sure there’s fresh lime on the side” says Dick triumphantly. D:Heh, who’s the motherfucker now? Bob looks startled. B:How? HOW??? He’s good!

So, shall we get down to business?” Says Bob. B:How much? How much can I squeeze out of Dick face here? “Yes, of course, that’s what we’re here for isn’t it?” says Dick. B:He’s really pissing me off now. “Sorry sir, no lobster” interjects the waiter. B:Friggin fucking great! That’s just fucking perfect! “Sorry sir” W:I could serve you fucking crab and you wouldn’t know the fucking difference, assholes! The waiter seems to be suppressing a smile. W:Hope a crab bites your fucking balls! Ha! Bob looks perplexed. “Well, what would you suggest?” B:Shit, I’m too obvious, did Dick weed catch onto that? Naaa, I got away with it. “Sir chicken is there, mutton, fish….” W:Just order, assholes. “Kalamari’s there?” asks Bob. B:I sound like an idiot now. “No sir, no kalamari” W:But I could kick your fucking ass if you’d like that? Dick’s looking at the menu again, “I’ll have the Balls in Garlic sauce”, says Dick, straight faced. The waiter is straight faced too. W:Ha! Man, you must be a real idiot… Bob’s suppressing a smile. B:Balls in garlic sauce! Ha! How could he do that??? Man, he’s REALLY good or a complete asshole! Harry’s left to go to the bathroom. H:Ha! He said balls in garlic sauce! “Make it two, and please serve garlic bread with mine” B:Gotcha that time Dick shit! “Fine sir” says the waiter, “Any drinks sir?”